


UNOFFICIAL Hardcore Lab AU Fic

by DanganSwizzle



Category: PBG Hardcore series
Genre: (comes with the territory I suppose), Anyways aaaaaaaa tags!, Besides the plot that's already there I mean, Body Horror, Gen, I can't emphasize enough how much I didn't come up with the concept, I don't have anything too edgy yet but I might get there, I maaaaaay having shipping elements later but idk, I'll probably write more than one chapter, I'm just writing fan fiction for it, There's probably not going to be any plot to it tho, anyway this is based off of the hardcore lab au, hope I got all those names right lol, just realized this makes no fucking sense if you aren't read up on the AU already, lots of headcanons b/c idk that's fun, or go read everything on despairwafflezz blog, rated teen mostly because this au is terrifying my god, so uh if u got questions ask, which isn't MY au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-14 22:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13017633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanganSwizzle/pseuds/DanganSwizzle
Summary: Credit goes to despairwafflezz and chickenwxy on tumblr for making this AU! I love it a lot, so I decided to write some stuff for it! I'll probably write more than the one chapter I have so far, though it'll probably just be drabbles.In any case, I hope you enjoy!





	1. The Important Parts

“Can we at least have some cards or something?” It was probably the seventh time in as many days I’ve brought it up to the doctor that leads me around. I don’t know him by name, or really anything about him, but I do know him well enough to say he was probably one of the nicer doctors here, or at least the most patient. Not that that meant a whole lot- his threats were never empty, and he had no sympathy for any of us.

“You aren't permitted to have any unapproved materials, 001.”

“The name’s Dean, and if they’re unapproved, then approve them. I mean think about it, if we spend too long unstimulated we’re eventually going to fizzle out mentally, you know?”

“Be careful what you wish for, 001, you just might get it. Now get in.” The door for the socialization room opened, and I sauntered in. As the door closed, I skipped over to the group gathering in the room.

“Guys, I totally think I’m wearing him down on the card thing! Give it a few more weeks and we might have a deck!”

“Nice going, Dean!” I was pretty used to being surprised by Barry speaking up, but being that I was always easily startled I couldn’t help but jump a little.

“Y-Yeah, no problem. Say, where are your sunglasses? You usually wear those during social hour.” I asked, making a guess as to where to look to make eye contact.

“Yeah, they’re confiscating them for a few days because I… Well, I got kind of frustrated last night and ended up punching the wall to deal with it, as people do, but they thought I was trying to break it down.” Though I couldn’t see him, it was clear from his voice he was embarrassed about it.

“Hmm, I get that. That’s super lame, though. Hopefully you’ll get those back soon.”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t worry, Barry. We’re living under some very stressful circumstances, so it’d make sense that you’d get upset about it. You shouldn’t feel ashamed that the people who treat you like this don’t want to see you fight back.” Luke said in his usual calming tone.

“... You’ve got a point.” Barry responded, sounding like he felt a bit better.

As he said that, the door opened, with Stewart and Austin stumbling in. I got up and walked over, offering an arm for support, since they were still struggling to walk on their own.

“Just take your time, I’m here if you need me.” Admittedly, it never got easier to look at the two of them. It’s not as though it was easy to accept what happened to anybody, but it seems the two of them were uniquely selected to get the worst of it. I try to support them in whatever way I can, but I just couldn’t help all the jitters I got around them.

I tried to breath a steady breath to get those thoughts out of my head. They were different now, that much is true, but they were still my friends. I shouldn’t think of them as some sort of monster.

After a few shuffled steps, they eventually reached out their arm to use my shoulder for balance. I walked beside them, keeping with their pace.

“Thanks.” Austin whispered out, though I could tell from Stewart’s furrowed brow they were both probably more frustrated than Austin’s monotone voice let on.

“It’s no problem. And you’re getting better.” I said, giving them a reassuring shoulder squeeze after helping them into a chair.

“Hey, did you guys hear? Dean’s making progress on getting those cards!” Reese said with her typical level of enthusiasm.

“Cool. You all better watch out, my poker face has gotten pretty good.” I laughed probably more than the joke was worth, since it was rare for them to joke about it.

Suddenly, there was a loud thunk, and an annoyed “Shit!” coming from the doorway.

“I’m tired of it, I really am! It doesn’t even physically hurt, it just pisses me off!” Ian yelled, still having yet to fully adjust to the new couple of inches he had, which, when combined with the fact he was already pretty tall, made him hit some of the doorways, “If I ever get out of here I’m suing the shit out of these people. Can’t even be fucked to bring up the height of the door after surgically attaching my neck to a fucking television.”

“Want me to sing it better?”

“No, it’s fine, I can deal with it, I’m just mad.” Ian took a seat on the floor besides Barry, a sour look on his face.

“Is this everyone?” Barry asked.

“Not yet, Ray isn’t here.” I answered.

“Uhhhh… Who’s Ray?” Jon asked, an eyebrow raised. Right as he finished the sentence, the door opened.

“You’ve got more company today. This is 010. Behave.” The man said, pointing the last comment at the new arrival.

“Oh, sorry, jumped ahead there, I guess. Anyways, that’s Ray!” I pointed at the man, who responded with a confused look.

“How do you know my name?”

“What?” Damn, it seems he’s one of the ones who don’t remember much. I was okay with it, though- it sucks when people don’t remember the details, but they never forget the important parts, “Eh, that’s alright. You’re not the only one who doesn’t remember everything, so don’t feel weird about it. Come on over, we’ll all get to meet each other!” I waved him over, smiling my signature dumb smile.

“Um... I think I’d rather keep my distance, if that’s okay?” He asked, not sure what was expected of him.

“Yeah, totally! I’m pretty loud, so you aren’t going to have any problems hearing me! But before I go on, why don’t you tell us about yourself?”

“I actually think I’d prefer it if you go first.” I shrugged.

“Fine by me.” I sprung up from my seat, moving around and gesturing as I talked,“First of all, I’m Dean! I have limited future vision, so if you ever want to know how your next ten minutes are gonna go, just ask! Uh, sparingly. It hurts a lot when I do it. Do you guys wanna introduce yourselves, or shall I?”

“Yeah, you know what, save some of the limelight for the rest of us!” Reese added as she stood, elbowing me playfully, “I’m Reese, and this is my partner Jon.” He waved, adding a little hello, “We share physical pain and wounds. Also, I’m cooler than Dean could ever dream to be.”

“That’s fair.” I added, “So, who’s next?”

“I’ll go.” Luke smiled, and began to speak in a serene voice, “My name’s Luke, and I can calm people with my singing. We’re like a little family here, so don’t be afraid to ask for anything.”

“Yes, a horribly mutated, living nightmare of a family, but a family nonetheless.”

“Ian, you wanna cool it?” I demanded more than asked- it was true, sure, but it’s not like it’s gonna do anybody any good by talking about it like that.

“Sorry, I’m still really pissed about hitting my head. Er, screen, rather… I guess. Anyway, hi, I’m Ian, my head is a television, and yes, I am usually this sarcastic, bitter, and unpleasant.” He proclaimed jovially.

“Um.” Jeff piped up, looking at Ray with empty eyes, “I’m Jeff. And this is Strawberry, Tanaka, Asmodeus, and Stoplight.” He said, pointing out each of his hamsters individually.

“He’s part hamster.” I explained.

“Ah.”

“I’ll go now.” Austin said while raising his hand. He turned to Ray so he could better be heard- luckily, due to his lack of vision on that side, he didn't notice Ray jump back when he looked over, “I’m Austin, and that’s Stewart. I’m the nightmare fuel.”

“Hey, come on, don’t talk about yourselves like that.”

“I’ll stop when it’s false.” I calmly breathed in and out. Everything takes baby steps, and I can’t change everything in a day.

“Ah, alright. Well, I’m-” Ray started, before getting interrupted.

“I’m here, too.”

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t- uh…” Ray looked around the general area he heard the voice come from, but when he couldn’t see anyone became confused, “What’s going on?”

“I’m Barry, and I’m invisible except when I talk. Or when I wear my shades, but I don’t have those right now.”

“Oh! That explains it. Sorry to skip over you.”

“It’s fine, it happens.”

“Uh, is that everyone?” Ray said, likely not wanting to go over someone again.

“Well, there’s Jared, but he’s not allowed to socialize with us.” Jon added, a bit casually, due to not having been involved in the events leading up to that.

“Ah. Well… I’m Ray, as you know, and I… wither. Which means that I’m kind of in a constant state of fading away. And anybody I touch does the same.” A silence passed over the room. I suppose that explains why he’s keeping his distance.

“Well, welcome aboard!” I eventually said, ending the quiet.

“Thanks. You guys… actually seem pretty cool. I think I kind of remember you all, in some way.”

I smiled, “No one ever forgets the important parts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaaaay notes!
> 
> 1\. Hopefully this isn't too OOC, I only watch some of these guys outside of hardcore so I'm not sure. Funnily enough I'm actually most concerned about Ian's characterization, despite the fact that I watch him the most. I think it's hard to communicate that Brutalmoosey Tone ™ in writing, but I did my best with it!  
> 2\. If Jeff actually has hamsters I don't know about it, though I'm still keeping my names even if he does because I like them.  
> 3\. It was about the moment I started writing their dialogue that I realized I had no idea how 002 works mentally in terms of, like, their awareness of one another and themselves? Do they still see themselves as individuals and talk as such? Are their thoughts and minds melded to the point that they communicate as one entity? If so, do they use "I" or "we"? I don't actually know what's canon, so I just went with that it's kind of a mix? Like, they can recognize some things that belong to who (such as recognizing themselves and Stewart and Austin), but a lot of it ends up getting muddled and it blurs into one (like when they said "I'm the nightmare fuel"). So like, they know they're two different people, but often think and speak as one, I guess is what I'm going for? It's trickyyyyyyyy.  
> 4\. I like to think that Dean just kind of knows little things that are right about to happen? May not be canon but idk, I though it'd be fun.
> 
> I think that about covers it! I hope you all enjoyed, I know it's a bit on the lighter side in terms of content but hopefully I'll get deeper in later chapters. If you have any suggestions for future chapters, let me know! I had a lot of fun writing this, so I'd love to keep going with it!


	2. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray brings up the topic of escape.
> 
> Brief mentions of attempted suicide/murder courtesy of Jared, for those it may concern.

There usually wasn’t enough chairs for all of us. There was always at least one, which always went to Stewart and Austin, since they had an easier time getting on the chair than on the floor. The next went to Ray, who thought it better helped divide him from the others to prevent contact. Jeff usually took the floor, since he preferred it over chairs, anyway. Everyone else didn’t have much of a preference either way, so it switched up, depending on the day.

Today, there were five chairs. Austin, Stewart, and Ray had taken their seats, or course, so that left three. Reese and Jon took two so they could sit together, and I took the last one. Ray had started to get much closer to everyone over the past week, both literally and metaphorically. He didn’t sit with everyone yet, exactly, but he was only a few feet out of the circle we sat in now.

“So, I’ve got a question.” Ray started, pulling everyone’s attention from the previous discussion, “Have you all ever talked about… escaping?” He asked, ending in a whisper, as though not wanting to be overheard- which made sense. Despite not being being able to see any cameras, we were all likely being monitored.

The room was quite. It was something we had touched on before, sure, but for the most part it was an idea we’ve abandoned. Well, I shouldn’t say abandoned- at least not in my case. I haven’t given up on the idea of escape, but I had no idea how we would even begin to try and do that. It’s not like it would be easy, and if we didn’t act fast enough, we’d probably get killed…

“Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to say something wrong.”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, we just… We’ve talked about it before, and at least for now, it… Doesn’t seem possible.” Luke responded, a more downcast look on his face.

“I see. But… do we at least have any ideas? I mean, eventually we’ll come up with something that’ll work, right? I mean, I once thought it was impossible that I’d become a lab rat for a bunch of underground lunatics, so eventually, it’s got to be possible for us to escape, right?” Ray asked, clearly still hopeful. I gave a sad smile in response.

“That wouldn’t happen for a while, unfortunately. There’s just no way to overpower them yet.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. I mean, when you think about it, we’re more powerful than any of them! I nearly killed one of the doctors just by touching him, and the only reason he lived was that they were able to treat him fast enough. We just have to plan it out.” Ray said, almost cheerfully.

“Well, there are other problems, too. Like what we’re supposed to do when we get out.” Jon added. Reese nodded, a serious look on her face.

“We have no idea where we are, so we wouldn’t know where to go or how long it would take to find civilization. Or if there’s even civilization to find…”

“And if there isn’t, we wouldn’t know what we’d expect to find out there. And, if we couldn’t find anybody to help, Ian would probably die in a matter of days.” Barry said with a solemn tone.

“What about you, Ray? Don’t you need treatment to survive?” I asked, having just remembered that vital detail.

“Well… Yeah, but… I’d be willing to…” He didn’t finish the thought, and he didn’t need to. I took a deep breath, trying not to tear up at the notion. It was honestly kind of amazing that he’d do that for people he barely knew at all…

“We wouldn’t leave you behind like that.” That was all I could get myself to say in response.

“Well… If that’s the case, then all we need to do is figure out how they treat me, right? And Ian, too. It won’t be easy to get that kind of information, but with enough time, I think it’d be possible.” Again, the room was quiet. That… wasn’t an idea that had been brought up before, “We’re going to be here for a while, anyway, so we might as well make use of that time.”

“... He’s got a point. We’ve got nothing else to do, anyway.” Ian added.

“It’s pointless.” Austin said, who had been quiet up until now, “We have no way of getting that kind of information.”

“What about Jared?” Luke asked cautiously, “He would be able to convince them, right?”

“Jared tried to kill us. He won’t help.” Jeff responded, seemingly frightened at the notion.

“But he probably wants to escape too, right? He may be willing to help us.” Jon said, which was met with an unconvinced hum from Jeff.

“And what if he tries to kill us once we get out?” Ian asked.

“We’d outnumber him.” Barry responded.

“Plus, I’m able to calm him, so if he starts acting up I can put him to sleep so we can handle it.” Luke added.

“It still wouldn’t work. Jared can’t convince the entire facility at once, and once they figure out what’s going on, he’ll be lucky to get out alive.” Austin said, once more communicating their doubt, “Besides, we can’t be sure Jared can use his powers on the staff. If he could, he could have escaped a hundred times over by now.”

“Jared wouldn’t do that.” Barry quickly commented, “He’d rather die before abandoning us in a place like this.”

“Jared also would also never talk someone into suicide.” Austin said, “We can’t go around pretending we haven’t fundamentally changed as people anymore.” I gripped the arm of my chair, trying to keep my breathing even. It’s… true, that things have changed. But I didn’t like to think we’ve changed so much that we were essentially different people. 

“Well… We don’t know what Jared’s thinking, right? I mean, maybe doing that made sense to him, you know?” Reese added, her own distress coming out in the wavering of her voice.

“But they have a point. It’s still not something Jared would do. And I know I’ve changed since I’ve gotten here.” Ian added, not looking at anybody.

“Come on, everybody. You’re your own first line of defense, so you can’t give up on yourself so quickly.” Luke said in a motivating tone, though even he looked more tense than usual.

“You guys can think whatever you want.” Austin whispered out, “I won’t think any different of you for it. I’ll just be grounded for everybody. I’ve already gotten used to thinking for two.” He finished the last sentence so quietly I could barely hear him. I got up and made my way over to them, placing my hand on their shoulder. Now at a different angle, I can see the distressed look on Stewart’s face.

“It’s not about escaping, is it?”

“... You worry about others too much, Dean.”

“It’s what I do. It’s okay, you know. If you’re upset about something. This isn’t the place for brave faces.”

“... Neither of us are handling this well right now. We just want this all to be over, but if I know one thing it’s that these guys won’t let us go easy. Neither of us remember it too well, but I do remember that I made it a real pain for them to capture us. I think they have it out for me because of that. I had really hoped Austin wouldn’t get roped into all of this…” Stewart started to tear up, the distress seeming to get to him.

“It’s not like you did it on purpose, Stewart, don’t beat yourself up.”

“But you still didn’t have to be a part of this. You never had to be a part of this…” The conversation between them quieted, likely moving internally. I wrapped my arms around them, giving a gentle hug.

“You’re gonna do just fine, okay? I’m here if you need me.” I broke away, returning to my seat.

“Right.”

Another silence fell over the group, the mood having changed considerably. 

“I’m sorry. I wouldn't have said anything had I known this would happen.” Ray said, breaking the silence. After a moment, Austin responded.

“It's fine. Like you said, you didn't know.”

“We’ve all got a lot of feelings here, so don't worry about it.” Reese added on, earning some nods due to the truth of it.

“We can table this discussion for later. We’ve gotten further along with it, at least.” Ian said.

“Oh, what’s this? Are you actually being optimistic, Ian?” Barry teased, earning a mock-annoyed look from Ian.

“Well, none of you are doing it, so someone’s gotta step up to the plate.”

“Awww.”

“Shut up, Barry, no one asked!” More chatter began to fill the room.

“You know, I think Asmodeus has really started to take a liking to you.” Jeff said, holding the hamster as he spoke to Austin.

“You think?”

“Yeah, he’s kind of a tsundere about it, though.”

“Hey Luke, how come they let you wear that hat?” Jon asked, which was met with a chuckle from Luke.

“Well, the doctors told me it’s because they think it looks good on me. I’m pretty that’s a lie but I’m too scared to go against them on it.”

“Maybe, I know if it were me and Reese came in with a good hat I think I’d let her keep it.”

“Aw, babe, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me!”

“It is!?” Jon responded, wide-eyed with distress.

I breathe out, having relaxed some. The heavy air hanging over everybody seems to have lifted, and the social time resumed as normal. Nothing feels resolved, though, just pushed aside.

But… I suppose that’s fine for now. Right now, we’re surviving, and we’re alive. And we find whatever happiness we can. And hope isn’t lost yet. In a place like this, that’s all I think I can ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Thanks for reading, and for all your lovely comments and kudos on the last chapter! I'm glad people enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Winter break's coming around soon for me, but I really need to focus on my schoolwork until then, so I probably won't be responding to comments until I'm out (or at least not as frequently). However, I'll be back in the swing of things before next week (and hopefully I'll get another chapter up before Christmas). Anyways, notes!
> 
> 1\. I don't think this got too angsty, but I've got a few ideas that might get there. I'll be sure to balance them out with nicer chapters though!  
> 2\. I wrote like 8 different endings for this chapter tbh, I had a hard time ending everything in a way that made sense.  
> 3\. As you can see I've starter to flip a little bit on what's going on with 002. I'm not gonna put all my cards on the table just yet, but I do actually know where I'm going with all this, lol. I'm probably going to write a chapter on it and explain it all then. I think I may focus on 002 a bit much, but don't worry, everyone will get their time to shine!
> 
> Finally, here's some chapters to look forward too!  
> \- A Holiday Special™, featuring Jared!  
> \- A chapter on what's the 411 with 002! (people say 411, right?)  
> \- A chapter where Ian's settings get messed with! ¡Que divertido!  
> \- Dean on his own! What's he think about, when no one else is around?
> 
> \- I also promised Twilight_Joltik a hamster play date for Jeff's and Gundam's hamsters, which isn't gonna get posted on this fic. I'll probably be writing it after the Holiday Special™, so look forward to it!
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for reading, and I'll return in a couple of days!


	3. Happy Holidays!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang has an impromptu Christmas party! It goes okay.

“So what do you celebrate, doctor? Do you guys have a company Christmas party where you drink eggnog infused with the blood of the innocent? Do you, like, save blood from over the year for it? Probably not, I imagine blood doesn’t keep well. I don’t know, does it?”

“Please stop talking. And we don’t drink blood.” The doctor responded, as detached as ever.

“What do you drink, then?”

“We don’t have Christmas parties.”

“What? That’s lame. You should talk to whoever’s in charge. Even apathetic life-ruiners like you guys need a break for the holidays, you know?”

“Why do you do things like call us apathetic life-ruiners and then proceed to encourage us to take a break?” I shrug.

“Well, let’s face it, you guys ruined all of our lives, and clearly your terribly apathetic to not only do such a thing, but then continuing to do it, buuuuuut you’re still human. So long as that’s true, you need a break every now and then.” The doctor just rolled his eyes.

“You people are all the same. Get in the room.” I walked in, the last one today, as it turns out.

“Hey, everyone, happy holidays! Now, I didn’t get anyone anything because there’s nothing here, and also there’s like no decorations or, like, anything, but that doesn’t mean we still can’t have a good time!” A choir of small, confused mutterings responded.

“Well that explains all the terrible Christmas ads I’ve been getting.”

“I could have sworn it was May?”

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about???”

“Wait, when is it?”

“I don’t know, but for some reason my mind is very focused on the fact that it’s Christmas, so I’m pretty sure it’s at least close to some holiday right now. Maybe? I don’t know, I’m rolling with it.” I responded.

“Seriously, what are we talking about?” Reese asked, incredibly confused.

“You know, the winter holidays! Like Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and shit.”

“Uh, no, that isn’t ringing any bells.”

“Not even of the jingle variety?” Ian asked.

“Nope.” Well, I suppose that wasn’t impossible. Reese was definitely one of the worst off when it comes to memory, so it’d make sense if she forgot something like that.

“Don’t worry about it, then. Point is, this is usually about the time where a lot of people have winter celebrations.”

“Oh! Cool!” Reese exclaimed.

“It sure is.” A voice came from the door I didn’t realize had opened. I jumped, startled, and turned around to find the source.

“Good morning, everybody! It’s been awhile since we’ve met as a group, hasn’t it?” Upon recognizing him, I could feel my hair standing on end. Dr. Schlickbernd. It had never been outright confirmed to any of us, but it definitely seemed like he was the head of operations here. He was almost always there for any experiment or questioning, and the other doctors and guards seemed to wait for his approval before doing anything- no doubt, he was high ranking. The only real sense of doubt that remains is that there might be someone who gives him orders that we haven't met yet. Regardless, his presence was met with contempt from everyone in the room.

“Now, here’s the funny thing about you all. Despite the fact that we are literally and openly torturing you for every living moment of your lives, you’re a group defined by hope, comradery, and support. Well, I decided I’m gonna put a stop to that. So, I made some Christmas cards for everybody!” He held his hand out, and another doctor placed a collection of red and green envelopes in his hand, “You can do whatever you want with the information you get from these- I’m just the messenger. Merry Christmas to all!” He threw the cards on the ground, casually leaving us to our own devices. We were quiet, for a while, before Barry finally spoke up. 

“So… What are we gonna do?”

“Read them, I guess.” Luke responded, a bit unsure.

“Fuck no we aren’t! It’s probably a bunch of unfalsifiable bullshit to make us doubt each other. We shouldn’t even bother with them.” I was perhaps a bit more aggressive about it than was necessary, but I was pretty pissed off- not at Luke, of course, but at the concept of whatever Dr. Schlickbernd was trying to get at. It was hard keeping everyone together all the time, and now he’s throwing a wrench in all of that. Like he didn’t make our lives hell enough.

“I’m with Dean. It’s a bad idea.” Austin said.

“But what if they don’t want us to read it, and us arguing about it is how they’re trying to stir everyone up?” Jon asked.

“They can do better than five minutes of mind games! Shit, they surgically attached my neck to a fucking television, and you think they’ll stop at a fucking game of ‘should-we-should-we-not’?” Ian responded.

“But they just might not have anything to say. I mean, I can’t think of any information they could have on me.” Barry added.

“Besides, there’s nothing saying for sure that that’s even what’s inside them, that’s just kind of what we assumed.” Reese argued.

“Why not put it to a vote?”Luke asked, “I think that’s the best way to decide.” He was met with general agreement, including my own- we were going nowhere fast, and no one seemed easily persuadable, myself included, “Great. So, who votes to read them?” Himself, Barry, Jon, Reese, and Ray raised their hands, “Against?” Myself, Ian, Jeff, and Austin and Stewart (using both hands) raised ours.

“Oh, great, we’re tied.” Ian rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed.

“I didn’t think this through…” Luke added, visually letting the stress get to him.

“Do we have any sort of tie-breaker?” Reese asked. I cover my face with my hands, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Dean, are you alright?” Barry asked, and I don’t immediately respond. I even out my breathing, focusing on the air and my breath.

“We’ve had these cards for two minutes and already we’ve picked sides…” I stop, my last few words having ended in a warble. I continued trying to focus on my breathing, trying to keep myself together. There was a brief silence. I just had to keep myself together…

“Why don’t we read them as a group? Like, one by one all together.” Ray suggested.

“I mean, it's a good middle ground.” Jon added.

“No, I still think it's a bad idea. It's still going to be nothing but crap to make us doubt one another.” Austin said.

“But we still don't know that for sure!” Reese retorted.

“I like Ray’s idea. I want to read them, but only if it's together.” Jeff added, looking over at the cards.

“At the very least, I don’t think anybody’s lobbying for handling this individually. This is a team effort.” Luke said.

“We’re probably just gonna debate about it until we either open them or something else gets brought into the mix.” Barry said.

“There’s already more people for reading then there are against, now that Jeff’s changed his mind, so let’s just read them and get it over with.” Ian said, impatience starting to cross his features.

“This is stupid. We’re not gonna gain anything from reading these. But if we’re all on the same page, then let’s do it.” I said, a bit resigned. I hated how out of my hands it felt. In the end, we’re still doing exactly what they want.

“I’m not on the same page. You’re right to speak against it. I’m…” Austin paused, before muttering, “I’m scared of what we might find out.”

“Well, that’s why we read together, right?” Ray asked, trying to be some sort of comforting, “If we sort through it all together, then it won’t be so scary.”

“... Fine, but I’m not believing a word of what’s in there.” They eventually conceded, but being that I was sitting beside them, I could see from Stewart’s face that they weren’t very pleased about it.

“Great, let’s just read these things already.” Ian said, his patience clearly running out. He got up to grab the cards, then distributed them so quickly I was surprised he was at all accurate in giving the cards to their rightful owners.

I held my own in my hand- a pristinely sealed red envelope, with 001 written in neat handwriting on the front. It was a bit heavy for a card, but other than that, it seemed pretty normal.

“I’ll go first, otherwise we’re just gonna sit here for hours debating who goes.” He tore the envelope open with little care, casually tossing it aside as he opened up the card, “‘Do you ever wonder why 006 gets more freedom than the rest of you?’… Eh, they got a point. Why is that?” Luke shrugged.

“I think it’s cause I kind of work as a sedative, y’know?” Well, that went well.

“I suppose these cards don’t have much effect if we don’t buy into their bullshit.” I said, relieved. It seems I overestimated their ability to break us apart- or more importantly, I underestimated our ability to stick together.

I relaxed a bit, now a bit more certain there’s nothing to worry about, “Wanna read yours, Luke? Only seems fair.”

“Yeah, sure!” He opened it, then chuckled before reading it aloud, “‘009 is a bit too quick to point fingers.’”

“What, did they expect me to go after you or something? I’m cynical but it’s not like I’m some conclusion-jumping asshole.” The mood had lightened considerably after that, the threat of a divide suddenly becoming a lot less pronounced. Jon started laughing, pulling our attention towards him.

“Check this out! ‘It’s very convenient that 008 is your girlfriend, isn’t it’. I mean yeah, it is! Do these people think they’re gonna make me believe that my girlfriend’s fake?”

“What girlfriend?” Luke asked, deadpan.

“You’re not funny.” Luke and Reese burst into giggles, followed shortly by Jon himself.

“Wait wait, lemme read mine now.” Reese pulls out her card, “‘Perhaps 005 is not alone’? God, what weak meat, it’s not even funny! They couldn’t even come up with anything to actually get worried about! What a joke!”

“See, we have nothing to worry about! They can’t do anything to us!” Ray said motivationally.

“Except capture and mutilate us while making every day a painful experience. But I get your point.” Ian snarked, “Barry, why don’t you give yours a read?”

“Yeah, totally.” He neatly opened the envelope, delicately pulling at the card and opening it, “‘Isn’t it strange how 009 is the only one can see you?’” Before Barry even had time to make a comment, Ian immediately responded.

“I can’t fucking believe these people! First they surgically attach my neck to a fucking television, and then not only do they double-whammy me on the sus-o-meter, they have the audacity to blame the effects their own surgical procedure on me!” This earned a few laughs, including my own.

“Here, me next, I wanna see what these guys tried to pull on me.” I tore open the envelope and haphazardly opened the the card, barely out of the envelope, to find-.

…

Nothing.

There wasn’t anything on the card.

There’s nothing on the card?

What the hell?

I start to chuckle, before showing it to the rest of the group.

“They didn’t even fucking write anything on mine!” More laughter followed, and I grabbed the envelope I had tossed on the ground to put the card back in, before I realized something.

There was still something in the envelope.

I hesitantly reached in to grab it, tuning out the laughter and chatter beside me. It was small, like a gift card, almost, but I couldn’t imagine they’d put something like that in there. So, what the hell could it be?

I pulled it out, careful not to draw attention to myself. It was… Was…

My brain was shutting itself down, unable to process what was happening, what it was looking at. This was… different. Everything else had been silly, and mostly things we’ve always talked about. But this was new, and it wasn’t at all easy to swallow.

It was an ID card of an employee here at this lab- or at least it looked like one. I had never taken a close look before, but this did look like one. Which made it hard to accept that I was also seeing a picture of Stewart’s face on it. This had to be fake, right? The name wasn’t the same- it was a “McJones Rylie”. But then again, if I started working at an underground human-experimentation based lab, I’d make a fake name too, and it sounds like the thing he would name himself- No, what am I thinking? I can’t validate this kind of thinking! It’s not real! It’s just not!

I could feel myself begin to cry, but I tried to push it down. I can’t cry about things that have no validity to them. I can’t cry about such an inconceivable idea. This was just like everything else! It was just unfalsifiable bullshit to make us suspicious of one another! But… Why was it so different from everyone else’s? 

“Dean?” Austin asked.

“Huh?” I looked up, pulled from my thoughts.

“Woah, are you okay, Dean? You look like you might cry.” Ray said, clearly concerned.

“Y-yeah, I was just… Thinking of Jared.” I said, managing to come up with a lie quick enough. I felt a bit bad about not bringing up the ID card, but I didn’t want to create chaos about something that’s probably just as nonsensical as the rest. I tried to shove the card up my glove without drawing any attention.

“What for? I mean, it just seems like a bit of a random thing to think about.” Ray asked, brow furrowed.

“Well… If he were here right now, I think he’d really enjoy all of this, you know? It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to him…” That much was true. Despite the fact that he’s technically allowed to leave from solitary confinement so long as he was accompanied by a guard, that very rarely ever happened, so Jared was not someone we saw very often.

“Hmm… Maybe we could find a way to talk to him? Ian, can you hack this place’s system or something?” Reese asked, earning a wide-eyes look from Ian.

“I can’t even change my channel without passing out, you think I can hack their system no problem!?”

“I don’t think that would help us anyway…” Jon added, giving a shoulder-pat to the defeated Reese.

“Maybe we could just talk to the doctors about seeing him? I mean, we don’t have to over-complicate matters.” Luke added.

“I don’t think they’d go for it, they like having all that sweet decision-making power.” Barry responded.

“Here.” I jumped, startled from the sudden voice behind me. I turned around, only to find Jeff beside me, holding out a pen.

“I- Huh?”

“Your card is blank, right? We can write him something.” He said, unblinking.

“Where did you get the pen?”

“I went over to the door and knocked on it. A guard answered and I asked him for a pen.”

“Oh… Okay.” I said lamely. I grabbed for the pen- he was staring at my hands intently, as if waiting to see something, “Thanks.” I said as I grabbed it.

“No problem.” He said. Perhaps he was just really eager to hand me the pen, since he now seemed content to return to his spot on the floor. Unfortunately, I still had a ways to go when it comes to understanding how everyone communicates now- even the ones who stayed close to how they used to be changed in a lot of ways.

“Would they really deliver it?” Ray asked, seeming to be a bit disbelieving.

“No harm in trying, right?” Barry answered. He handed me his envelope, “This isn’t torn apart yet, so you can put it in this one.” I smiled, my mind temporarily taken off my previous worries and focused on a positive.

“What, you don’t want something to keep your Christmas card safe in?” Ian asked mockingly.

“I’m Jewish.” Barry responded in a nonchalant tone, earning a chuckle from Ian.

I looked down at the card, considering what to write.

***

I didn’t look up as the door opened, instead keeping my eyes on the random spot on the blank wall in front of me. It was probably about meal-time right now, so it was more than likely a food delivery.

“Here’s your lunch. And some post.”

Post?

I looked up, eyeing the doctor, “Did you just say post?”

“Yeah, you got mail. I don’t know how much clearer I can make that.”

“Where the hell am I getting mail from?”

“I just work here.” She placed the try on the floor next to me, with her usual apathy-stricken features, “Anyways enjoy, I’ll be back to get your tray in an hour.” She left without a second thought. The moment the door closed behind her, I quickly grabbed for the red envelope. I noticed that it had already been opened, but very gently, and on the front the number 003 was crossed out and replaced with something that was whited out and written over with 005.

I pulled out what was inside- I only barely recognized it as a Christmas card. I smiled sadly- I couldn’t remember Christmas very well (it was always hard to pull from your memory when your in dreams, at least in my experience), but I did remember the sort of feelings it gave me.

I opened it up, curious to see what was inside.

 

Dear ☐☐☐☐☐,

Hi! I know it’s been a long time since we’ve gotten to talk with you, but we got all these Christmas cards and this one was blank, so it only seemed right to write you something! I hope you’re doing your best with what you have, and just know that we still love you, even though you tried to kill us. Have a merry Christmas, ☐☐☐☐☐!

-☐☐☐☐

P.S. ☐☐☐☐☐☐☐ and ☐☐☐☐☐ can’t write yet, but they say that they hope you’re doing okay and that they get to see you again soon!

Follow your dreams, ☐☐☐☐☐, and remember that we’ll see you again soon.

-☐☐☐☐

I hope everything will be ok

-☐☐☐☐

I don’t remember you well, but I’m still cheering you on! Hopefully we’ll get to reintroduce ourselves someday.

-☐☐☐

I know you, ☐☐☐☐☐, and I know you wouldn’t hurt us for no reason. I don’t get why you did what you did, and while I’ll never allow you to kill anybody, I am always still here for you.

-☐☐☐☐☐

I may be a bit of a cynic, but I haven’t completely given up. One of these days everything will get sorted out, and we’ll all be just fine, and we can catch up on everything then. Take care of yourself until then.

-☐☐☐

We’ll see you soon, bud. I may not remember you much, but I can promise I’ll never truly forget!

-☐☐☐☐☐

Hold on tight, ☐☐☐☐☐, we’re still looking out for you!

-☐☐☐

 

I felt my lip quiver and went to wipe the tears streaming down my face. I hated this stupid dream, and I hated how real it felt. I hated how often I cried and I hated how it seemed like there was no escape.

I held the card close to me and curled up on myself. That’s why I had to get us out of here. If I could just get everyone to wake up, everything would be back to normal. So… Even if they didn’t get it, I was going to help everyone. I will make sure we all get out of here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, folks! Glad I got this in on time. It's longer than usual, so consider it a holiday bonus!
> 
> Notes:  
> \- I ended up adding in plot lines, lol. It's just how I roll.  
> \- I know it's not technically canon, but I really enjoy the theory that Stew used to work for Todd, since it adds DRAMA and LAYERS. I'll certainly get into it more later.  
> \- I think I focus a bit too much on dialogue? Well, the next chapter will be very minimal on dialogue, so I can sharpen up those skills better!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all have a happy holiday (or had, as the case may be)! Let me know what you think of the chapter, and I'll see you all next time!


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